Today at about twelve in the afternoon I ventured out to the thrift shop. With sixty dollars in my back pocket, I went in ready to spend.
I found fake Bean Boots that would not forgive my high instep, some old fashioned post cards which I put back, some posters, a book, and a brooch. A couple days ago, I bought some socks and an ashtray. I always get socks because they're fifty cents and I know I won't grow out of them.
I didn't have any real luck in the clothing department. I've been checking out the books and kitchenware more than anything lately because Wuthering Heights won't give me muffin top and a used Shakespeare coffee mug won't go out of fashion.
When I paid for the posters and the book, the older woman behind the counter looked at me through her 90's specs and asked,
"Would you like a bag for these?"
And I said that I didn't and she looked appalled. She said,
"Well, okay," seeming worried for my new-used stuff, like putting my posters and my book in a little paper shopping bag would weatherproof my things or keep them safe or something. I imagined that she was probably thinking, she's so careless.
I saw the brooch laying there through the scratchy glass countertop while Katie paid for her findings and I told the woman that I wanted to buy that brooch, too. She asked if I wanted a bag for the thing, and I most certainly did not want a bag because I only paid three dollars for it, but I told her I did so that she wouldn't feel uncomfortable.
When I left the thrift store, I still had fifty-two dollars and I was surprised about that. I felt burnt out about it, too. Kind of like I was squeezing out every last will to buy. Maybe if I go shopping once a week, something amazing will occur. This is an underlying thought of mine. The only amazing thing is how fast five and five and five add up to fifteen and how my twisted desire for the number of hideous, oversized sweaters I bring home cannot be leashed. It's like buying lunch when you're not hungry. It doesn't do anything for you except for empty your pockets and make your pants smaller.