Monday, March 1, 2010

Don't you have to pick up your girlfriend from kindergarten in a couple minutes?

Something I just don't understand is the attraction to underclassmen girls.

Enlighten me, boys. Is it their lack of hips that makes you hot? Does their negative dignity and independence turn you on? There must be something in that Malaia by Hollister. Regardless, I bet it feels so good bumping up against a bone bag in the sheets you put on your bed two girlfriends ago. Steamy!

I guess their cute, flirty talk is what gets to you. I can't imagine how it makes your heart flutter to hear her talking about that blackout last weekend or how some asshole teacher gave her a D minus on her vocabulary quiz today.

The best is their cleavage. I always want to crack up when I see high school freshman and sophomore girls try to impress you with their push-up bras. Those are only A cups? I would have thought they were Cs, you little hottie! Mmm-mmm! Those strong boys can really get a handle on you now!

There are more beautiful, of-age females around you than there are brain cells in your head, but if ignorance, protruding pelvic bones, no dignity, and raccoon eyes make you squirm, I understand if you're scared of a woman.


  1. Boys grow up at some point. Probably around 25. Ish.

  2. hahaha maggie so far this is my favorite

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